pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
