I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
