Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
