It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
