Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
