I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
