I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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