why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
