i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
