guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize