Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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