Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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