We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i wish my penis had a tongue
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
