so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
