are you so shy because you have an std?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
