omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
