the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
