problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
A+ Viking dick
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
