Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just had sex on a roof
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
