are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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