yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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