i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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