I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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