I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
