Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
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