I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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