i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
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I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
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I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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