i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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