I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize