Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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