Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
