the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
