We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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