Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
