I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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