This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
