Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
