do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
