After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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