ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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