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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  Totally get that.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico

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• (209): View more from California

  I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.

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• (347): View more from New York

  every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.

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