Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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