Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
