just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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