We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
