Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Someone shit on the floor
I skipped work to stalk him.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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