So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
