how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
