dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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