i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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