I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Even my vagina gasped.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
MIDGETS
????
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
