There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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