Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
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Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
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I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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