i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
