Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize