I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i now understand why vodka
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
