What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
