I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
