You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
