Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
